My Client was actually MY COUSIN!!

Last year I started working with a Dr from New York City, he was adopted and looking for his birth parents. He had received a DNA match for a woman who appear to be his mother but upon reaching out to her, he was turned away, for whatever reason. Disappointed as anyone would be, he still kept searching for his paternal side, which is when we met. I started working on his case and a lot of his matches had names that were familiar to me, it was then that I realized that he was my fourth cousin. I was able to figure out that we were related on my fathers mothers side of the family likely back in Italy. I did some research and was able to suggest a potential route to someone who could possibly be his father, he reached out and received no response. Which I can also understand, it is tough when reaching out to people who are older, who have been told of telephone scams and such, I imagine that has a lot to do with people not getting calls back.

Then a couple months later he got a new match which led me in a slightly different direction, to someone who I thought could possibly be his father. I gave him his contact information and he reached him by phone, and was told that he would have to call him back. I worried that he would not receive a call back as is the case with many people due to circumstances outside of their control. A lot of people who have given children up for adoption do not choose to discuss this with future children or their spouses so I understand why someone might not be able to be open about the facts. A lot of time, the father has no knowledge of even fathering a child, it is understandable, but it stinks, lol.

Luckily my cousin received a call back from the gentleman a few days later and his potential father asked if there were any questions that he could answer for him, he asked him flat out if he was his father, he said yes and that he had just spoken with his mother on the phone, they were still in touch after nearly 60 years. It turned out that because his mother was young her father forced her to give him up for adoption. His father was very open and excited that he was able to find him after all this time and looks forward to sharing a relationship with him. I feel sad for his mother who for whatever reason has chosen not to reach out to him, I’m sure it would go along way to helping both of them find some sort of peace with the whole situation. I hope in time she will be able to, but in the meantime I’m thrilled that I was able to figure out who his birth father was and that he was open to communication. It turns out that the confusion I had originally was because his grandfather was adopted and his matches lined up with his birth family obviously not the adopted family of his grandfather. I am hopeful that his father will decide to test so that we can help him to figure out who his father‘s father was.

Everyone should know where they came from even if it doesn’t work out the way one would hope, I imagine that there’s got to be some peace that comes with knowing.

And now I have a couple more cousins LOL Bonus!